I have well and truly lost my mojo. My mojo vanished with the last of the sunshine a month or so ago and I feel like I’ve been stuck in a bit of limbo ever since. What is a mojo, you may ask. Well, in my personal opinion, my mojo is what makes me ‘me’ and what gives me the get up and go each day. It’s the motivation to look after myself well, to think positively, to love and accept myself etc. That’s what I feel like my mojo is, it’s my best self.
Why did it sod off? Well, mental health happened I suppose. As the seasons changed, my anxiety worsened and I really struggled to maintain everything I was doing. I’m working full time from home and as grateful as I am to be employed during a pandemic, it’s ramping up and getting manic as the weeks pass by. I was trying to go to CrossFit classes 4/5 times a week, I was studying a health and nutrition course and I was just trying to manage the regular ups and downs of living during a global pandemic. It was all too much and I couldn’t cope.
I binned off both CrossFit and my nutrition course, not without some long, procrastinating days and nights thinking about it, but the thought of a) saving money and b) not putting pressure on myself anymore than I needed to was the deal breaker for me. It does mean that exercise and finding something I’m passionate about has taken a slight backseat but that’s all part of my plan to get my mojo back.
Essentially stripping my life back to the bare minimum (work and my relationships with friends and family) really helped me to gain a better perspective and I immediately felt more in control. I wasn’t spinning multiple plates anymore and the fear of them crashing down and smashing around me had disappeared. I felt a lot lighter.
I’ve now got the opportunity to look at what I want to spend my time and energy on and I’m trying to think a lot about spending both things wisely so I don’t get burnt out again. I want to start moving and exercising a little more but haven’t really got the foggiest clue where to begin which feels odd because only a few months ago I was confidently lifting weights over my head and doing 50 burpees at a time in CrossFit. I also want to spend my spare time doing things I love, like blogging for example and graphic/web design. The most important thing I’m doing though is not putting pressure on myself, we’re going into our second lockdown here in the UK, it’s winter so I’ve got zero pressure to rush for any reason at all.
I hope that in a few weeks or even months time I will get my mojo back. It’ll take work on my part but I’m so ready to put that in and start feeling like myself again.